Today, the anorexic girl that lives across the street from me attempted suicide by driving in a 35 mph zone at 110 mph, and flipped her car into a canal. 

She is suffering with not life-threatening, but serious injuries.

...

When I heard the news, I had to sit down. 

My past was staring me in the face, as it has been for the past few days.

Every day, I look down at the scars and they seem to be looking right back up at me, pleading me to recreate the mess that I made of myself.

And something inside of me wants that.

Something inside of me wants to return to how I was last year, the hate, the harm, the starvation...

I'm thinking about summer now, what will become of me.

Last summer was spent skipping meals, eating about only 500 calories and then burning 600. 

Even then, there were no results.

But something about that seems so appetizing, so...

beautiful.

When in all reality...

the thought is anything but.